Saturday, September 20, 2008

Invitation In Lust

Don't you see? She wants you.
Her eyes follow you as you pass by.
She licks her lips and moans
when you smile.

Her hand strays close to yours
when you are near.
She presses her body to you, when
you hug her. I fear

Her eyes tell too much
of her desire
to kiss your lips until
her touch sets you on fire.

She means to make
you forget of your love for another.
She means to douse you in lust,
to take her as your lover.

And thus, you are warned
of this succubus' charm.
Don't fall for it, boy. Ignore
her invitation to do you harm.

For Sunday Scribblings: #129 Invitation

I am very much uninspired and.. and.. like a zombie, I am walking around with a blank stare. I need...something! Anything! So.. Comments and constructive criticisms are invited. A warm hug and a steaming cup of coffee await you. Just click on the comment button. XP

10 comments:

totomai said...

a different approach on the prompt and I like it. nice use of metaphor.

SweetTalking Guy.. said...

I think you've got some sort of message here, possibly a warning for a dreaming boy. But more likely the lament of a jealous girl.

Apart from the spelling mistake on line eleven, I think it's a readable piece.

Don't worry!

tumblewords said...

They are everywhere, aren't they? :) Nice work!

Aki Nominal said...

Thanks SweetTalkingGuy ^_^ I didn't spot that.. *edits post* There we go. XD

@totomai
Thank you :)

@tumblewords
Yes, they are.. I actually know people who are like those.
Thanks ^_^

Nita Jo said...

Enjoyed it! I liked the message and your use of the prompt.

KJT said...

Hmm.. I like this one. I definitely like this one!

Aki Nominal said...

@nita jo
thanks!!

@kjt
really kurt? I wonder why.. :P

kouji said...

interesting. steamy.

Aki Nominal said...

Thanks, Kouji! I was inspired to write this after a very steamy "conversation" with a certain someone. Haha!

kouji said...

sounds like quite the conversation. :P